


Cheaters Never Win.. Or Do They?

by catflowers



Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - High School, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Classroom Sex, Depression, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Drugs, F/M, Light BDSM, M/M, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape, Rape/Non-con Elements, Recreational Drug Use, Suicidal Thoughts, Trauma, Underage Sex, Violence, Walter White Being an Asshole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:01:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 10
Words: 7,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24587992
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/catflowers/pseuds/catflowers
Summary: Mr. White catches Jesse cheating on a test. Mr. White teaches Jesse a lesson. Jesse learns of Mr. White's cancer and he makes a deal with Mr. White that forever seals their fate as druglords. From there, things get messy quickly between them.
Relationships: Jane Margolis & Jesse Pinkman, Jane Margolis/Jesse Pinkman, Jesse Pinkman & Walter White, Jesse Pinkman/Walter White
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	1. Esperanza

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction to AO3 ever, so apologies if it's imperfect. Feel free to point out any errors you spot. Please, I urge you guys to heed the tags, yo! Enjoy! I hope you guys are all being safe during these crazy and uncertain times.

Jesse wasn't sure if he could stand high school anymore.

In fact, he wasn't even sure he could pass Mr. White's Chemistry class. Mr. White could never seem to give him a break. He was the one who was always picked on in class as some sort of sick genie pig. All he wanted to do at the end of the sixth period was to smoke pot and hang out with Jane and his friends, not learn useless Chemistry shit he'd never use in his future career. Whatever, his parents warned him that unless he got a job and made some money, he would be kicked out when he turned 18 in a few months. He was just apathetic and tired at this point though.

Jesse was sick of learning jackshit at some bullshit high school, and he wanted to get into this "real world" that all his teachers couldn't seem to shut the fuck up about.

Jesse's thoughts were suddenly disrupted as he heard Mr. White's voice boom through voice as he announced that there would be a pop quiz today and to clear their desks.

**Shit.**

He was getting desperate, and Jesse wasn't exactly the biggest fan of summer school. Appearances were everything at J. P. Wynne High School, even if it was bullshit. Of course, Jesse didn't study anything. He was pretty sure he could get away with cheating if he was slick enough. In very Mr. Whiteish- fashion, he did not give students any time at all to prepare for the quiz. Everyone knew that the pop quizzes that Mr. White gave out weren't even easy. Neither did he allow little flashcards to help out with the complicated equations. Even his pop quizzes were still worth just as much as his actual tests. Jesse didn't want to be known as the deadbeat loser who didn't pass, so he decided that the only way he was going to bump his borderline C grade up was to cheat the system. He was the natural slacker type but he was aware enough on how to be discreet about these things. He'd done this many times before in other classes and was never caught.

As the class murmured in shock, Mr. White passed out the tests to everyone. Jesse had to think quickly about this and analyze any possible flaws he could exploit to the surrounding dull class environment to his advantage.

**That's it!**

Jesse realized that he could just search up the answers on his cellphone since he knew that every science teacher used the same recycled quiz online. Luckily for Jesse, he was aware that Mr. White didn't make his own tests and printed them off the internet because he'd heard it from former students of Mr. White's, along with the complaints of him being way too strict.

Jesse discreetly hid his cellphone by sneaking it in and out of his baggie J.N.C.O jeans and making sure to do it quickly while he thought Mr. White wasn't looking at him to search the answers up safely.

"Ten minutes left." Mr. White's voice echoed throughout the classroom.

Jesse was completely sure and confident that he was going to completely ace the test. Then maybe, be able to pass this pain-in-the-ass Chemistry class and finally get his parents to stop nagging him about it. Not that he cared what they thought about him. Jesse was just eager to get the day over with and move on. He was so over the education system, and quite sick of the obvious bullshit adults said. How could adults ever expect respect from teens if it isn't reciprocated and they are demeaned and treated as "children" whenever it's convenient for them? How ridiculous and absurd. Teenager rebellion and resistance was something that Jesse was almost always behind. Ever since he was a kid, he was known as a mischievous prankster who knew how to make jokes and have fun among the other children. Jesse realized slowly in horror that Mr. White might've seen him cheat when he let his thoughts trail off, as he'd lost track of the time in his nostalgic memories. Jesse was never completely sure if he had ADHD, and sure as hell was never diagnosed by a psychiatrist with it, but brief moments like that sure as hell made Jesse suspect that he did.

"Five minutes left. Check your answers." Mr. White said monotonously on his desk, grading papers with his reflective brim black-framed glasses.

Jesse had finished early, surprisingly. He'd been quite efficient at finding the answers online and lightning-quick to copy. The clock's ticking hands read 2:27 PM and Jesse had three minutes to spare, just enough time to get a quick snooze before school was over. He dozed off, thinking of all the better ways he could be spending the day than in Mr. White's room.

But Jesse never heard the bell, and instead woke up to a furious Mr. White in an empty classroom.

"Jesse, why did you cheat?"


	2. Enseñar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mr. White "teaches" Jesse an important lesson about cheating before breaking down and admitting his secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, I just wanted to update the series! So the first chapter was just a brief introduction to this, and the chapters from here on out will be more lengthy.
> 
> A lot of you guys are showing support, so thank you, guys! It truly means a ton.
> 
> This chapter will be especially explicit and graphic. **Read the tags!** It took me forever to figure out how this would tie into future chapters, but I finally pieced it together. Updates will be more frequent.  
> 

Jesse was always weirded out by Mr. White. He knew there was something that set him apart from all the other teachers in his life. A tad bit eccentric to the students but nonetheless knowledgable.

Unlike the other teachers, when Mr. White was being tough to Jesse it was usually because he knew that Jesse could do better and not just for the sake of it. 

However, this **wasn't** one of those times where Jesse could say that Mr. White was being a decent teacher. Jesse felt like one of the scared wildlife animals his Aunt Ginny told him stories about when she was on the road. Or like the ones in those animal

documentaries where they were about to be eaten by the predator. He couldn't budge, even if he wanted to. There was Mr. White in front of him, and Jesse is seeing a side of him that Jesse wasn't sure if he'd ever seen in the classroom.

_Livid._

And to be frank, Jesse didn't even understand why he cared so much. It was a pop-quiz for fuck's sake. Couldn't he just let it slide? Like he always seemed to be so tightly strung out lately in class, and Jesse had no clue why he, of all students, had to put up with his sorry ass the most. He was losing his shit and Jesse was just in it, along for the ride.

Mr. White slammed the heavy classroom door shut behind him. 

"Jesse, this has serious consequences! You could b-be expelled! Do you have ANY idea what colleges would want to accept a cheater? Do you know how _bad_ this would look on your academic record? This is outrageous. I expected better from you, Jesse!" 

He exclaimed.

He shoved the quiz into Jesse's face and Jesse couldn't help but shrug. Mr. White was basically breathing over his shoulder at this point, and he was just boiling and seeping with rage. 

"I-I mean M-Mr. White, it's just an accident like I won't ever do it again, man. Can't you cut a kid s-s-some slack?" Jesse quivered and his hands were in a defensive position.

"I can't cut you any of this slack you speak of, Jesse. You've betrayed my trust. I've beyond **had** it with you and your little teenage shitty attitude in my classroom. Do you hear me?" He said angrily. 

"Come on now man, do you r-really have to be like this, bro? It's not like I was vaping in the hallways. Just let it go, what the fuck is up with you lately?" Jesse gave Mr. White a shove. "Let me go, Mr. White. I don't really get why you care about any of this or me."

Jesse grabbed his plain black beanie from his backpack and put it on. If Jesse was going to get caught cheating, he'd want to go out in style.

"The reason, **THE REASON**?! " Walt facepalmed and gave a hearty chuckle, shaking his head.

There was a long pause of silence that felt like an eternity.

"Don't you see, Jesse? When you cheat, you aren't just cheating the test. You are cheating yourself and everyone around you. The students who studied for the test and the ones who _actually_ pay attention to my lectures. Knowledge retainment is what

this is all about. "

"Uh-huh." Jesse said absent-mindedly. He needed to get out. _NOW_.

"Listen, Mr. White can you please just let me go? The final bell already rang, and I think this is like unconstitutional or illegal, er something. Yeah man, gotta know my rights! Haha! Just like Saul says in the telecommercials, y' know _? Did you know you have r_

 _ights as an American citizen? Better Call Saul!_ Right?" Jesse laughed nervously, heading towards the door. Jesse was about to pull open the metal door handle...

When all of a sudden..

THUMP!

Jesse felt Walt the door handle shut, grabbed his shoulder jacket and Walt pulled Jesse towards him. Walt's actions left Jesse speechless while Walt's strong, burly fingers were exploring Jesse's body under his shirt. Walt pinched his nipples. Jesse was frozen

in place, helpless while Mr. White left hand undid Jesse's pants zipper.

Walt started to stroke Jesse's erect cock as Jesse moaned in pleasure. But to be honest, Jesse was confused. He had Jane as his high school sweetheart and never had any strong gay urges or thoughts towards other men. So why did he feel so, good, with Mr. White?

"So, Jesse how do you feel, I bet you love getting jerked off by Mr. White. You've been a naughty little boy. Why don't you try to suck my rock-hard dick? Do you think you are all that, the tough street kid who isn't afraid to do some ketamine or molly? Well, 

I've got news for you kiddo. There's worse shit out there." Mr. White threatened.

Walt started to pull Jesse against the wall and pull down his pants while Jesse squirmed. Walt held down Jesse's head while ejaculating into his throat with his erect penis. Jesse started to tear up while he choked on the hot cum and it started to foam out of

Jesse's mouth as he gagged. Jesse's face was flushing red and his eyes were droopy. Jesse couldn't breathe, and all he could feel was his mouth being penetrated, back and forth, back and forth for a good while. Jesse moved his tongue around Walt's cock

but that's all Jesse had the energy to do. Today was a long day of high school classes and Jesse just missed Badger and Pete at the end of the day. He just wanted to say hi to Jane.

Eventually, Jesse was held down for so long that he passed out. It all went pitch-black and the sound of Walt's firm voice was all that was echoing in his ears. It was drowned out by distortion though and Jesse's ears were ringing like a bitch.

_Apply...._

_Yourself...._

Jesse was out cold, and fell to the hard tile floor, crumpled up, and collapsed from exhaustion and tiredness. Walt caught Jesse's body and laid him out over the floor. Walt realized the horror of what he's done out of his own frustration and cried on the cold

tile flooring, shaking his beautiful nude body and sobbing. Walt just ruined his career unless he could cover his ass, and he wasn't sure how he was going to explain this one to his pregnant wife Skyler. 

"I'm sorry, Jesse. I didn't have much longer left because of cancer left anyways. Forgive me." Walt somberly sighed in sadness.

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next thing Jesse could recall was being in a cozy living room. He woke up with a brown soft blanket on him. But.. it looked nothing like his home or his sheets? He looked around confused. It was way bigger. And had a great heater.

"W-W-Who are y-you? D-Dad d-doesn't u-usually have v-visitors." A young man, he looked super young. Like early teens young, walked into the room, with crutches and a white cast with wavy brown hair wearing a yellow polo shirt. He was in Jesse's face,

curiously touching his beanie. Jesse waved him away. "Yeah, yeah man. Whatever. Does this place have any like drinks or anything? And like pizza because I'm hungry as a-....." Jesse trailed off as he saw Mr. White walk into the room, peeking through the

hallway. Jesse hid under the sheets. "Hey, Jesse. Come on out and meet my son. I think I've mentioned Jesse to you before, right Flynn? It's ok, don't be shy."  
  


"N-N-No. Who is he?" 

"He's one of my best students from Wynne. Jesse, why don't you say hi?" 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is morid and dark, but it'll be lighter from here on out, I promise! (I actually had trouble bringing myself to finish this because I was dealing with personal emotions regarding writing this chapter specifically because I loved the story idea but wasn't sure how to play it out realistically.)
> 
> Here's a song that I feel like describes the dynamics between them both well:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7Nbc03zV4M&list=PLK3S2o0v2pKPyBLZYo7CdrFcAqnTqcVhD&index=3


	3. Encantador

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse meets Walt Jr. and Jesse feels broken. Walt tries to make amends, and Jesse makes him a deal to get out of his cancer dilemma. Afterward, Jesse vents to Jane.

Jesse came out from the covers and shot a quick glare at Walt before returning his gaze to Walter Jr. He checked the clock to see how long he'd be out. 2 hours, it was 4:00 PM.

"Yo, uh... Walt Jr.? I'm Jesse Pinkman. Nice to meet you." Jesse spoke flatly and held his arm out for a handshake.

Walter Jr. shook it as he nodded his head. There was an awkward silence between them as Walter Jr. shifted his crutches and cleared his throat.

"Why don't you go to the living room, Junior? I heard that they are airing another episode of COPS tonight."

"N-No Dad, What's going on? Why are you bringing a s-student home in u-underwear w-when S-Skyler is away? I-I need you to tell me the t-truth. I've h-had it with the lies!"

Junior pleaded with Walt like how a disobedient teen negotiated with their parents for a later curfew.

Jesse looked away embarrassed, and Walt narrowed his eyes at Junior.

" **GET. OUT.** " Walt pointed to outside the hallway.

"No, Dad! T-Tell me the t-truth, and then I'll leave!" Junior stammered stubbornly.

"Fine, Junior. I need to do some chemistry research with Jesse. Just give him some guidance for a project." Walt spoke exasperatedly.

Junior's face seemed suspicious for a second, Jesse noted.

But then he exited the room without a word shutting the wooden door behind him.

"Hey, Mr. White! The fuck was up with that bullshit excuse to your son! And you have a wife?" Jesse raised an eyebrow and shook his head in disgust.

"Listen Jesse, I-I..." Walt trailed off.

"You're a fucking cheater yourself, you know that?

Don't you see that your shitty actions have consequences? When will you learn that you can't just keep lying to everyone around you!" Jesse was disappointed in how Walt had treated him.

Walt finished his sentence and interjected into Jesse's point as his eyes were welling up with tears.

Walt took off his charcoal-colored wired frames. "I have lung cancer...Jesse..." Walt started to have a coughing fit.

Jesse paused and remembered his Aunt Ginny..

I-I don't think I have much time. It's towards the latter stages. I'm sorry for what I did, Jesse. What I did was wrong and could never be excused." Walt said glumly.

"Whatever man, why the fuck did you even take me to your house? Now I gotta put up with your drama. Not a cool move, yo."

Jesse sighed.

"I wanted to make an agreement, Jesse. I have nothing left to lose. I need money for chemo. And I've heard the rumors from the other kids about you at Wynne about your umm... How should I phrase this? Methamphetamine business?"

Walt inquired pressingly.

"Yeah man, I know what you're trying to say. I've done all that stuff you've said earlier while I was in your class. And I guess, I'll help you out man. On one condition, though." Jesse fiddled with his hands while he spoke.

"What conditions?"

Walt asked.

"Well, for starters stop lying to everyone you know about me. And second of all, we split the cash 50/50 evenly so it's fair for the goods we distribute. Break any one of these, and you are as good-as-fucking dead to me." Jesse threatened Walt. "Deal. Now I

suppose I'll have Junior drive you home now. Just tell him your address." Walt got up and called Junior, but before he could speak, he heard Junior watching the news in the living room...

 _Albuquerque Breaking News! I'm your host for tonight, and this just in, DEA Agent Hank Schrader_ _has just busted a crystal methamphetamine laboratory in a house!_ _Now, let's get onto the interv-_

Walter couldn't believe his ears. He needed Junior to turn off the T.V before Jesse heard or Junior said too much. 

Luckily, Junior heard Walt coming and shut the T.V off before the sentence could finish. Junior looked at Walt, standing behind the couch. 

"H-Hey Dad, h-have you seen the n-news? Turns out Uncle Han-"

Walt chuckled nervously and started to sweat a little as he interrupted quickly.

Little did Walt realize, Jesse heard everything from the television was smart enough to put two and two together. And Jesse felt so confused and betrayed. But he wasn't going to settle this tonight. He didn't have the time and wasn't about to fight in front of Walt's son.

"Haha, yeah Junior. That's _great_. Now, will you _please_ do your father a favor and drive Jesse home before it gets too dark outside and Skyler comes back?" 

"S-Sure thing, D-Dad." Junior stood up and led Jesse outside in the driveway to a simple mini SUV. Junior took his crutches off and started the car. Jesse opened the front passenger seat and pulled the door open, and entered. Jesse buckled on his seatbelt.

"S-So J-Jesse, w-what's your address?"

Jesse told Junior his address. 

"Wow. T-That's a close t-ten minute drive. D-Do you wanna pick the music?"

Jesse nodded and toggled between the radio channels. 

Jesse settled for an alt-rock station playing Nirvana.

"Hey, Junior? I need to ask you something.." Jesse was cautious. 

"A-Ask away, Jesse." Junior said, eyes on the road.

"Can you tell me more about Uncle Hank? I mean, he's a DEA agent, right? No ordinary people go around busting major drug thugs, yo."

Junior seemed eager to answer. "Yes, J-Jesse! He's not y-your ordinary u-uncle! I'm so proud of the work he does and how much he's always cared about his career. He even had his own segment on the local news!" Junior said happily.

Jesse tried to hide the sheer amount of shock and fury he felt towards Walt for setting him up like this! _A teacher cooking crystal meth with his student?_ _What was Jesse thinking? How stupid and naive._

Jesse let out an exhale as he kept his chill. At least now his suspicions were confirmed. Jesse was at his boiling point, and he would call Walt about this later.

He didn't speak for the rest of the ride to Junior and left the car with a quiet thanks. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jesse arrived to his parent's house, and they were still out working. It was 6:00 PM now. He went to call Jane. 

Jane didn't pick up though.

**"Hey, if you're trying to sell me something I've got 4 little words for you: Do Not Call List. However, if you're cool, leave it at the beep."**

Jesse left her a message saying that they needed to talk about something urgently and Jesse said he missed her. Jesse drifted off to sleep when all of a sudden he heard a loud... 

_RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!_

_It must be Jane!_ Jesse answered. 

"Hey, Jesse!! How are you?" Her voice was sweet like flowers.

"Yo, Jane! I missed you. Oh, you should've seen what that asshole dick Chemistry teacher Mr. White put me through today. It's a fucking insane story. Wanna come over to hang? Maybe bring some of your molly to smoke?"

"Sure, sweetheart. I'll be there in 10 minutes! Ok, bye!" She said excitedly.

"Bye." And with that, Jesse hung up.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Oh, yeah Jesse, by the way, I don't have any weed with me, so I just brought smack instead if that's okay with you." Jane calmly explained. 

Next thing Jesse knew, he was trying dope for the first time ever with Jane. And it was a wonderful drug. Jesse was having a blast while Jane just drowsily chatted about her love for him sleepily. Eventually, Jane fell asleep with Jesse cuddled around her. He

felt warmth and bliss all over him. Jesse loved when Jane went she slept, she was adorable! But all of a sudden, before Jesse could close his eyes to sleep, he felt his phone vibrating in his pants. Jesse groaned. He got up and answered while Jane slept. He looked at the clock and it was 10:00 PM. Who could be calling

him at this hour? _Oh._ Jesse realized it was Mr. White. 

"The fuck do you want, man?" Jesse mumbled.

"Jesse, I'm coming over to your place now. Don't leave. I need to tell you some crucial information. It's not what it looks like Jesse, believe me."  
  
"Oh, you mean the fact that your family's UNCLE is a FUCKING DEA agent? Yeah, I'm very, very glad you left that out, asshole. Yo, I can go wherever the fuck I wanna. In fact, I'm just gonna go take a walk now to burn off all the fucking anger you just caused

me. Hope you're happy that you drug-busted a harmless stoner, dick. I knew you were fucked in the head, but not fake-having-cancer fucked in the head. _Sayonara_ , loser." Jesse hung up. Jane was still sleeping when Jesse left. He didn't know the exact

toxicity of the dope, but he just figured it was probably the same thing as molly, might get the munchies or feel extra groggy but nothing more..

He walked out to take a late-night stroll even though he was highly intoxicated from the heroin.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Walt was done with Jesse not taking him seriously, and as the phone line hanged up, he was fed up. He was going whether Jesse was there or not because he needed the money any possible way he could get it. Walt grunted and drove in his silver Pontiac

Aztek down the street. He arrived at the house, and Walt knocked. Nobody seemed to answer, and the door was open, so Walt came in. "Jesse?" Walt said curiously.

He slowly walked up to the bed and was horrified when he realized that Jane had choked on her own vomit from the drugs on the dresser and was unconscious. 

She was dead, and Walt left the room without a sound and drove back to his house. Jesse could handle this on his own. Walt could just call him back anyways.


	4. Extraño

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse takes a walk around the house, and he stumbles around the block at night thinking about Walt. Jesse comes back to his parent's home to find Jane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys. I just want to say that this chapter involves a reflection of some more personal issues I went through a few months ago...  
> Gotta love our dude Jesse being honest. Some really, really heavy stuff happens in this chapter. It's different and a new way I've been writing lately. But I like it.

Jesse was fuming with rage just thinking about Walt constantly telling him no, and controlling him. Jesse stormed off, he was sick of Walt's rudeness and his constant lies. But he couldn't turn down this offer. Jesse knew that his meth wouldn't be as good

without Walt's help. Not chemically pure enough as an amateur chemist, Jesse needed it to be better if he wanted more of the profit.

Calling him? During an intimate moment with his girlfriend? And begging him to share his fucking side gig that was probably just a plot to bust his meth business by the DEA? Yeah, no thanks to that.

_But what if Walt did tell the truth about his cancer? It's not like it's an easy fucking thing to fake, and Walt did seem to have some visible symptoms._

Jesse wondered if he was being too skeptical and harsh towards Walt. He knew that Walt seemed desperate.

At that moment, Jesse realized that Walt was a dick from the very start, even during the very beginning of the school year. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jesse was back in the classroom on the desk again, sucking up to Mr. White. Figuratively, but still belittling nonetheless.

"So, Chemistry is the study of.... Jesse, do you want to answer this?" Walt said sternly.

"Ummm... rocks?" Jesse couldn't seem to remember anything. It was a forgettable period, really.

"No, Jesse. But nice try."

All of a sudden, the classroom melted away to reveal a dingy looking meth drug lab. And he was naked and the fumes went to his head. It had felt as if his heart was tied down with rocks. His heart skipped a beat and he felt a sense of nausea.

Mr. White snickered at him while Jesse stared at him in the dark. And Mr. White pulled a tiny lever, and Jesse fell below the floor as he screamed out all his fear.

And nobody answered, Jesse went unheard and drowned out by the sounds of laughter.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jesse panted and bent over while sweating tremendously. It wasn't real, thank fucking god. But still, Jesse couldn't catch his breath. 

Jesse walked along the winding road around the house, all he knew was that he needed to get the fuck away from Walt's abusive tendencies. He felt like he needed control and clarity that this was his life and his choices. Jesse always thought nature was

awesome and had a profound respect for the wilderness. He loved watching survival series on T.V about Alaska. Maybe someday he could move there, away from mankind's daily mundane work grind.

Jesse stumbled along the dark, dark road and he kept walking until his legs were numb. He couldn't take anything anymore, he was sick and tired of Walt constantly calling him names and demeaning him. He just wanted answers, but apparently that was

too much to expect. Jesse eventually went so far out, he came across a wooden bridge that went high above a river.

Jesse thought about it.

It's not like he had anything to lose.

Nobody would notice, and if they did, Jesse didn't think they would care. Maybe his parents. 

It didn't matter though. The teachers at J.P. Wynne always said it was a selfish thing to do. But something told Jesse they were programmed by the staff after they'd lost too many kids to it spew shit like that.

Jesse was devastated, lost. Confused. And he had nobody who'd understand his situation. Not without ratting him out or being immensely disappointed at least.

Jesse took off his black beanie and teared up. He just wanted the shitshow to end already. All of it. He was considered society's degenerate failure anyways. Just a stoner junkie who was lazy.

But. One thing, 

One thing.

**One person.**

Stopped him from taking the leap into the river that night. 

And that girl made him feel, different. _Strange_ and ethereal. 

**It was Jane.**

She was unlike anybody Jesse had ever met. She made him feel so loved. Like he had a purpose. She actually believed in him and trusted him. Unlike most authority figures in Jesse's life. 

Jesse meditated silently while the running creek flowed.

Jesse realized how late and far he was outside. He would be extremely suspicious if the police saw him walking home alone at night. So he slunk back home, head hung low. Jesse did his best to act sober. Or at least appear to be. 

Jesse arrived at his parent's house to his parent's cars in the driveway, along with police cars. Shit. Did Walt actually call the cops to drug-bust him? Jesse knew he shouldn't have put so much trust into Walt. He was so paranoid and choked up. But he knew

he had to face the consequences in his future anyways. So Jesse went inside to be interrogated. He was surprised when he interrupted what looked to be Jane's dad interviewing the crime scene detective. And Jesse's parents looked stone cold.

Jesse was so confused. Wouldn't his parents be madder if they found Janes's drugs? And why were Jane's parents here? They wouldn't care if they hung out, right?

But then he looked over at the bedside, peering across. It was Jane, and she was lying there. Still and unmoving with her eyes wide open and unblinking. Her body was pale, sickly white. Jesse was devastatingly heart-broken. She was his everything and she

treated him with respect and admiration. Like a man.

The party girl.

The stylish girl.

The girl of his brightest dreams.

Her melodic laughter.

Her warm gaze and soft embrace.

Her heartfelt eyes.

 **Jane**.

She was **gone**. Forever. Overdosed. Jesse felt claustrophobic as he felt like the world was closing in on specifically him. The walls seemed like they were actually closing in as Jesse felt a wave of anxiety, fear, and uncertainty flow through his whole body.

The mortuary person inquired Jesse about what he knew about Jane's death. And for once, Jesse didn't hide behind his lies, cowering in fear. He told the truth about Jane's death being a heroin overdose while he went for a walk when his girlfriend died and

fell to the floor crying. 

Jesse finally got up after what seemed like forever. He brushed himself off and inhaled deeply. He asked to be excused by his parents and they somberly nodded. Jesse walked outside to phone Walt the horrible news.

"Hey Mr. White. Turns out that.."

How should he finish the sentence? His life was ruined forever? His parents very disappointed in his life decisions? That he was traumatized and suicidal? 

"that... well, umm."

"Turns out Jane died." Jesse bitterly remarked. 

"Yes, I know. Jesse, I was the one who found out. I-I just didn't want to explain the situation to you. Goodbye." Walt said with hostility and conviction in his voice.

"WAIT WHAAAAAAAT? Don't hang up! Please no! Oh my fucking God!! You douchebag!!" Jesse screamed at his flip phone as the tone of the hung phone line rang out loud.

Jesse threw his phone on the concrete out of sheer frustration. Luckily not damaged when he picked it up. But Jesse was shocked, appalled, and revolted by his lack of empathy for his friends. Hell, just a few hours ago Jesse had to explain drug dealers and 

who his connections were. Y'know. Only his best buds, that he always had around with him during school and after. But Walt couldn't even do him basic decency by doing that at that time with Badger. And now this. 

Jesse felt lost and alone, and mad at all the unknown. He was forever changed by Walt's negligence. And this would also be what marked Heisenberg's eventual downfall.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said it'd get better soon. And it'll come eventually. But until then just sit tight with Jesse coping with trauma. This chapter was horrible for me to write emotionally because I consider Jane's overdose death really triggering. 
> 
> Here's a song that I think describes this chapter well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddwxyI3hgz8


	5. Especial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse comes to the conclusion that Walt cannot be trusted. But Jesse cannot get rid of his past memories of Aunt Ginny, and feels sympathetic for Walt. Jesse is officially Walt's partner and Jesse meets Skyler for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been such a fun writing experience so far! Enjoy, yo! I know this chapter is super brief, but don't worry, the next chapter will be extremely long.

Jesse was feeling sorry for Walt at this point. Jesse knew that Walt had willingly let Jane die when she still could've been saved. 

But why would Walt do such a thing? Jesse knew he was heartless but this was abhorrently selfish of Walt.

And when Jesse was at his lowest, Jane is what saved him. 

Jesse met Jane in middle school and she was what inspired him. 

Don't get Jesse wrong, he loved Badger and Skinny. But those were his stoner friends.

Jane completed Jesse, he felt fulfilled. He felt _special_. Like somebody actually wanted him.

Jesse went to sleep but had nightmares.

He woke up to his phone ringing. He answered immediately. 

It was Walt.

"Jesse, listen. I need you to listen to me! I need you to come over so we can cook. 6 'o clock tonight."

"Ok, Mr. White. But why did you have to fuck me over like that? I take responsibility for whatever shit I pulled on you for you to do that to me, m'kay?'' Jesse was irritated beyond belief at Walt's sheer amount of disregard he had for other people's feelings.

"Yeah, alright Jesse. Fair enough. Just come over for dinner." And with that, Walt hung up. 

And Jesse was left alone in his room to mourn in sorrow. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eventually, 6 o' clock rolled around and Jesse came to Walt's house for dinner.

Jesse was surprised to find Walt eating at a table, along with what was presumably his wife. The DEA Agent Jesse saw on the news and a brunette middle-aged woman. He saw Walter Jr. picking at his food. They all looked up from his meal, and Jesse was speechless.

"Uhh.. M-Mr. White?"

His wife looked pissed. But Jesse didn't care, he just wanted to eat. He hadn't eaten since the morning. 

"Yes Jesse, take a seat. I want you to meet my family."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A song that suits this chapter well: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O2lzmpEs29M  
> Also, it looks like everyone is making fun of Aaron Paul now because of the Take Responsibility campaign, lmaooo. The world just keeps getting more and more insane, and that video is hilarious.  
> Here's the link if you are interested. WARNING: Aaron goes full-out Jesse Pinkman: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZhbydhzQUzU


	6. Esposa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse meets Skyler, Hank, and Marie at dinner. After Walt explains to Jesse the details about their plan to cook, and Walt shows Jesse an RV they can use to cook. They start to cook.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've been updating this often basically because I know where this is going to go and how to conclude it. And also it's summer break so I have a ton of free time. There's going to be one last smut scene between Jesse and Walt while they cook because even though I love the ship I want to focus more on the plot. I hope you guys understand.

Jesse arrived at the table and sat down with them. Walter Jr. introduced Jesse to the table while Jesse slowly ate the food.  
"So uh... Skyler's food is delicious, huh Jesse?"  
Jesse nodded.  
"Yo the food is awesome Mrs. White!"  
But Mrs. White was passive-aggressively mad dogging him.  
She didn't say anything in response.  
"M-Mom, w-why does Dad a-always bring home new people?" Junior asked.  
"No clue, honey." Skyler rolled her eyes.  
Walt chimed in. "Well, Jesse is my favorite kiddo, so I invited him over."  
Jesse was kinda tired of Walt's lies, so he asked to use the leave the table."Can I be excused, yo?"

"Sure, whatever kid." Skyler scoffed.

Walt excused himself from the table shortly after.

"So, what's the plan Mr. White?" Jesse whispered in the hallway to Walt.

"We go out to the desert away from cities. If we try to cook at one of our houses it'll be too suspicious."

"We leave tonight at 10 to hit the road."

"Bet, Mr. White."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah. This chapter was much more expository than I expected. Also, sorry if the formatting or spelling is literal shit because I'm writing this on my phone. I hope you guys are doing good. 
> 
> Song for this chapter: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=RTWcNRQtkwE


	7. Emocionado

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse cooks with Walt in the desert, late at night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, from this point is where this fanfiction will differ greatly from the entire 4 seasons of Breaking Bad. One last CSA scene between Walt and Jesse when they make meth. You'll see. It's a combo of the episode where Jese points out Walt's scars and Jesse tells Walt about his aunt at Gus Fring's drug lab. Just scratch out Gus Fring. Plus stitch together the beginning elements of El Camino. And I know that sounds like a hot mess but it'll make sense these next 4 chapters. And yes, I do realize that the narrator is calling Mr. White, Walt, it's just for convenience.

Jesse watched Walt drive along the long, dark winding path in the Albuquerque desert in silence.

"So, like, uh Mr. White?"

"What is it, Jesse?"  
  


"Are we there yet, yo?" Jesse prodded.

"No, and please stop asking me that. This is the sixth time you've repeated saying that. We will get there soon, I just need to make sure it's desolate enough to not attract federal attention." Walt said exasperatedly.

He sighed. Why was Walt always so high-strung? Like it must be Walt's cancer that was degenerating his brain or something. Because Walt was on a tangent while Jesse was too zoned out and exhausted to even listen in. Something about him being called

"Heisenberg" and getting the RV by stealing and killing a cartel member in the process. But Jesse could give less of two shits. Jesse just wanted to get this over with so he could go back to dreaming about Jane and get to sleep. It was 12 AM at this point. 

Jesse drifted off until he heard Walt yelling at him. "JESSE, wake up! My goodness kiddo. Never seen you sleep so deeply in class." Finally, Walt shut off the van's engine and stepped out, opening the door. He motioned to Jesse to follow him out. Walt took 2

chairs from the inside of the RV and set them up outside. 

"Now before we start cooking, I'll need you to remove your clothes and get into the van and put on these." Walt held up a hazmat suit with boots.  
  
"Yo, the fuck is that? I'm not wearing a gas mask, bro." Jesse was feeling defiant. 

"Suit yourself. Have fun with ammonia gas and smelling like a meth lab." Walt said bluntly. 

Jesse eventually changed, and they were both down to their trousers and they put on their suits. 

"So now what do we do?" Jesse asked. 

"Now, we cook up a batch with good purity. Let me show you my recipe." Walt took Jesse in the van and showed him the process.

"No chili powder, okay?"  
  


"C'mon man, Chilli P's my signature."

"No way, Jesse. We do things _my_ way, _Heisenberg's_ way."  
  


Jesse rolled his eyes as Walt went on a spiel about how he was in charge of this business. About him.

Just like everything else. Had everything Jesse had done for him up to this douchebag purposeless? Jesse was sickened by everything that happened today. 

"No, man. Don't pull that fucking shit on me! You can't keep getting away with this shit man!" Jesse stomped his foot and jumped. Jesse was sick of Heisenberg, the monster who killed his girlfriend.

Jesse was cornered by Heisenberg as he whispered in his ear. "You know, as well as I do, that I'll die without this blood money, and without you, Jesse." He said softly, and his eyes met Jesse's fearful eyes. Yet Jesse found the courage in him.

**To just say no.**

To everything. To the abuse, to the drugs, to his negligence. Suddenly, Walt pulled him closer and unzipped his suit while Jesse leaned against the RV table. Walt pulled out Jesse's cock while Jesse was pleading Walt not to. Walt leaned in for a kiss and

grasped and Jesse's body. His dick was throbbing with confused excitement as Walt put his hands on him and jerked him off. Walt french kissed him and stuck his tongue into wide-eyed Jesse. Jesse was frantically thinking of ways to get Walt off. To not be

frozen anymore. Walt was about to stick his fist up Jesse when all of a sudden...

This was the point where Jesse decided that he had enough and purposely smashed a vial of flammable fluid to the floor that was right next to him. And pulled out a matchbox from Jane's cigarette box she lent him, lit it, and left Heisenberg for dead, and as he exited the

van exploded. 

**BOOM!**

A splash of black charcoal rained down along with firey orange scorching ashes, and with that, Jesse walked home through the vast blue starry desert sky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Great podcast about trauma: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVIrp5VA-1U
> 
> Check it out if you have the time and enjoy anime. It helped me develop personally and cope.  
> The song that suits this chapter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1ALIgizTcc


	8. Estimulante

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse walks home, alone in the dark desert and comes to an epiphany before returning home to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been so much fun to write and I love the character's motivations clashing. While writing the last chapter, I kinda thought what if Jesse beat Heisenberg like the end of El Camino style and nothing ever came of Jesse being into drug cartels or meeting Gale because I feel like he deserved better.

Jesse marched on in the dark. He dared not to look at what was behind him.

Jesse was lost in the desert, with no water at night in the pitch black. But when all hope seemed lost and he was wondering around he realized something.

**He's been here before.**

This was extremely familiar.

Then, it struck him. He's been here with Aunt Ginny. Camping. Years ago, actually. His aunt and uncle made a campfire and roasted marshmallows to make smores. He remembers this road and how to get back to his block.

And he remembered the survival skills he learned in Boy Scouts. He had a pocketknife on him, but that was about it. Jesse had no cell service, so he'd have to make do with instincts. 

He would walk hundreds of thousands of miles, just to see Jane again.

He continued on for Jane, walking along, his legs aching.

He was rejuvenated with his energy by the sheer thought of being with her again in high school. Along with Skinny and Badger of course. 

He knew he could see her, watching him in the stars. Her eyes are full of joy, happiness at Jesse's vengeance.

Jesse felt stimulated with energy coursing through his veins. Heisenberg might be dead, but maybe it was for the better.

He didn't want any of this to ever be traced back to him because his parents would endlessly berate him for it. Not to mention the legal trouble and fees. So Jesse made sure to hide his prints and burn the chemistry gear under a makeshift campfire and

dumped the ashes in a narrow river nearby. He would never speak of this again to anyone in his life, and if anyone at J.P. Wynne asked him where his Jane was he'd tell the truth. But Heisenberg? Jesse was going to lie about him. Just tell them cancer. 

He was sick of lies, but he knew if he wanted to get off easy he could never tell anyone at Wynne what happened tonight. He'd just have to live with it, like all the other shit that happened in Jesse Pinkman's precious little life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cool song, yo. Check it out, I think it emulates Jesse's mixed feelings of leaving Walt behind:   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OyytKqYjkE  
> Disbanded 2000's rock band but extremely nostalgic to me.


	9. Entusiasta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse wakes up and wonders if it's just a dream. Jesse realizes without Walt, he's somewhat liberated. But high school rumors spread fast, and Jesse becomes an outsider at high school. He loses the joy of being with Jane but confesses the truth to his buds about her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, this is my third time writing this. It keeps not saving. I gotta move to Docs for better saving abilities in my future.

Jesse eventually arrived at his block, and his feet were sore and dehydrated. Not to mention they were swollen and he was extremely dehydrated. Jesse came in through the back door and silently came back into his bed. He collapsed straight to sleep.

"Jesse, wake up! Breakfast is a ready sweetie!"

Jesse shot up and scratched his head. He had trouble with processing what happened last night. There were a ton of racing questions. Walt's family would be sure that Walt hadn't died of cancer, so if he tried explaining it away to the police it wouldn't cover his

ass if he became a suspect. Jesse got changed per usual in his messy room and headed towards the kitchen to eat breakfast. He was famished. Was this all just a fever dream, and Jesse would wake up to Jane waiting for him at J.P. Wynne?

He ate his toast calmly. Meanwhile, Jesse's mom turned on the local ABQ news for some background noise. 

_This just in, Chemistry teacher from J.P. Wynne dead in an RV van in the ABQ desert. There are charred remains around. Authorities say it's due to cooking what appears to be crystal methamphetamine. There appears to be a second suspect, but so far_

_nobody has been identified. Authorities are investigating the crime scene. Back to you, Liza._

"Oh, honey! God, that's your chemistry teacher, isn't it? This is horrible!" His mom was glued to the T.V. all of a sudden and stopped preparing his lunch. 

"Hey, yo uhh... Mom? Maybe you could like y' know try to change it?" Jesse went quiet while munching on his toast.  
  


"Ok, sweetie. Have a good day at school." She kissed him and shut off the T.V.

"Thanks, mom." He said. 

Jesse arrived late. But whatever, least of his worries now.

Everyone looked at him when he walked in. He remembered he always had first period with Jane. But now she was dead. The teacher took roll. "Jane? Jane?"

Jesse said she wasn't here. He wasn't enthusiastic to learn after all the shit Jesse went through.

So after class, Jesse went to hang out with Badger and Skinny. "Yo, Jesse! Did you hear about Mr. White? What a douche, am I right?" Badger said. Skinny nodded in agreement. "Talk about desperate," Skinny added. They did a high-five and laughed.

Jesse agreed casually by nodding in approval. "So, how's Jane? Did you get lucky last night?" Skinny winked. 

"Uhhh... guys.. Jane died of a heroin overdose." Jesse muttered somberly. 

"Hey, bro. We are here for you. Right Skinny? Sorry for your loss, Jesse." 

Skinny nodded. They hugged together.

But in all the other classes, the kids glared at him and didn't want to be associated with him either. Jesse was confused at why everyone hated him today. Even his teachers were treating him shittier than usual. 

Jesse realized why when he heard them call him a murder in whispers.

His face was plastered all over the news in the reports.

He was the suspect. But why and how were his two biggest questions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so yeah.. that's all folks! Stay tuned for the last chapter. It's going to be a doozy!!
> 
> Awesome song for this chapter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HrYinsmoQA&list=RDMM&index=5


	10. Emprendedor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse clears his name of the crime scene and finds his calling in life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, it's been a ton of fun writing these chapters over break, and I just wanted to say thanks for reading! It's been a pleasure.

Jesse passed through the halls. Everyone was whispering about him. And how he was the one behind Walt's death. Which was actually the truth, and it was killing Jesse to be seen as a monster.

Jesse sighed. Would things ever get better for him? Or was he trapped in an insane fever dream where everyone sees him as a murderer?

"C'mon guys. It wasn't me! Don't believe everything you see on the news, yo!"  
  


"I'm innocent, bro!" He'd say defensively. Even fucking Skinny and Badger were treating him differently. Like he was Heisenberg or something. 

When he came home from school, his mom asked him a ton of questions before dragging him to the ABQ police department.

Eventually, he was interrogated as to be the most likely suspect behind the meth lab explosion. 

He answered all their bullshit questions and did it as truthfully as possible without making it look like he was involved in Walt's shenanigans. 

Eventually, they realized that those fingerprints they found on the cigarette box Jesse dumped behind weren't Walt's or Jesse's. (Unfortunately not before the local news reported on him and showed his face to 1000's of folks watching. They linked the box

prints back to a girl. 

"We made a mistake. It didn't come from you. We scanned it again and it connected back to Jane Margolis. And it looks like she's deceased so.." The interrogator spoke coldly.

"You are free to go, Pinkman." The interrogator brushed the error off. 

Jesse Pinkman sighed with relief. Ah, finally he could think about his future without a life sentence behind bars. Or getting fucked over by Heisenberg.

He left the room and his mom drove him home, thanking God it was an error. 

Jesse had always loved fishing with Aunt Ginny back before her passing! They'd go out to a little lake and Ginny would help impatient Jesse wait for the fishes to bite. He thought about the idea of becoming a fisherman in Alaska and was satisfied. He really

liked the prospect of surviving and braving the wilderness and exploring by using his own wit. He seriously considered it after graduating in high school.

And here Jesse was, all these years later, thinking back and reminiscing about insane life events while catching salmon on a boat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdxANCQcHXY


End file.
